Fostering Family Bond: Some Little-Known Ways

Fostering Family Unity: Some Little-Known Ways

Have you wondered why you don't get along with some members of your family, either with your parents or your siblings? Or why does everyone just mind their own business and simply not care about you or your opinions? It's as though there's a barricade between you and the other person, nobody understands you, you feel all alone and disconnected…

It threatens your mental health, and little by little, you begin to feel depressed and some days, you feel like running away to somewhere far from home… maybe standing on a hilltop, screaming at the top of your lungs to God because you thought He had made a mistake putting you where you don't belong, where there's no love, no peace and most importantly, no unity. Can you relate to any of these scenarios?

There's the saying, "United, we stand. Divided, we fall", a home without unity is nothing compared to a prison, and sooner or later, there would be a jailbreak that may go beyond repair. 

Breaking family? How should you cope?

Here are three methods to restore unity and even though it may take time rest assured to get rapid enviable results. 

#1 Identify the obstacle: What's standing in the way eventually becomes the way, the heated argument that generates strife for discord is the conflict and it could be based on the reasons of addiction, misunderstanding, jealousy, etc. and this can only be addressed when there's effective communication in the family. When you don't ask questions, the answer will always be "No" and when you do, you get either of these two responses "Yes or Wait ''... at least you got a reply. Begin slow and steady conversations that surround the problem and must be physical as Yorubas would usually say "Ojù ni lòró wà(Factual discussion tarry at sight), and must be in a warm environment between a few people, that way it gets to be heartfelt. Pay attention to details. Keep it calm and on the low, even when the person is trying to get on your nerves. Choose your words carefully and don't forget to maintain eye contact. Make it personal by using the pronoun "You", rather than "I", and this is because it makes you be in charge of the conversation, making the person see from your perspective…chances are you will win over. Use kind and positive words. Accept your fault, embrace your blame, and don't repeat such mistakes. 

#2 Gratitude over criticisms: The best way to develop the best in a person is by appreciating and encouraging them; this is a feeling of importance to everyone. Appreciation shouldn't only be when you receive something from someone but should be done even when someone has done wrong or you don't like what he/she did, for instance, I attended an online music class sometime last year and I didn't like the way I was being treated by the trainer and many times I would get angry for his late replies or no reply, I wasn't certain if I was getting the right tonic solfa…so I reached out to him, praising his efforts before tending my problem, the narrative changed in the long run. Be sincere in your appreciation, and let your words come from them inside out. No matter how blunt and expressive you may want to be when correcting members of your family, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, you are dealing with creatures of emotion and it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

#3 Pray Until Something Happens(PUSH): The world will make you think every blessing ought to be financial and then you ignore the blessing that comes with the gift of life, the gift of family, etc. You could do some prayers in the long run as there are life situations that require a special intervention that has to come from above. After trying all that you can to bring back what was lost, surrendering to a higher power should be the final resort you should turn to, using simple and direct approaches such as daily affirmations, going on a fast, believing in your heart, etc., etc. You can journal these processes, share how you feel,l and don't keep secrets. 

#4 For these processes to be achieved right from identifying the obstacle, gratitude over criticisms,, and prayer, it is important to schedule a particular time meant for only the family, nobody else. Spending quality time with the ones you love makes an unbreakable family and you can only do that by making yourself available, being present at meetings when necessary, and participating in these meetings. You can even make it a ritual, that is setting aside a specific day(s) or week to visit your family. Don't always go empty-handed, presenting valuable gifts gladdens the heart, and rest assured to get an atmosphere filled with love, joy, and peace all through your stay.

And there you have it, four ways to foster family bonds without having to cut ties easily. 

Enough of pointing fingers, trying to remove the log of wood in someone else's eyes when you can switch on your torch, your light creates a way for others to see.

To unity, cheers!????????

Well done!